Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
