Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
