fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
