Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
