Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
