my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
