You made me cry and you don't even care
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
