I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
