8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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