Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
