holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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