Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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