what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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