im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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