Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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