I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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