I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
