watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
