Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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