i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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