So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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