sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I will be naked everywhere
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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