Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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