Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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