he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
