Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize