Barsexuality is the new black.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
