Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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