last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize