Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You are the jesus of drinking
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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