This is not my ceiling
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
