He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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