It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina