The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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