Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
