Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!