so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
