I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
