it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's blow job season.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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