everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
