i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
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What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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