Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk

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(904): View more from Florida

watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..

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(703): View more from Virginia

You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.

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(518): View more from New York

I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?

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(224): View more from Illinois

I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."

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(281): View more from Texas

Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.

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(914): View more from New York

I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

that was on purpose.

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(513): View more from Ohio

No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder

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