you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
