dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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