pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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