I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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