we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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