you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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