how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
