my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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