i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
