I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
