dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
