The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need to calm my uterus...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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