I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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