my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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