I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Farmville is her only friend.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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