What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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