He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
