Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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