So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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