I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
