So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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