you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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