I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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