Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
