remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
