I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
