Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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