I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
