My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize